Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Nine Ladies & Ms. Harp

Author(s): Douglas Reese
Location: Ohio

“Nine Ladies & Ms. Harp"

Written and Directed by Alexander Payne
Produced by Grant Heslov and Alexander Payne
Music by Danny Elfman

Principal Cast:

Annette Bening … Ms. May Harp
Emily Blunt … Lindsay Bledsoe
Anna Faris … Megan Wood
Maggie Gyllenhaal … Jennifer Freeman
Keira Knightley … Lacey Bledsoe
Swoosie Kurtz … Danielle Moore
Brittany Murphy … Tabitha Arnolds
Chloe Sevigny … Mattea Randell
Shannyn Sossaman … Brittany Burton
Jennifer Tilly … Cheyenne Boxer

Tagline: "I Hate Nymphs! I am Ms. Harp and I approve this message!"

Synopsis:

JENNIFER FREEMAN (Age 25)

Jennifer has problems with her sex drive. She knows its wrong but can’t help but want to sleep with the first and every guy that she sees that even mildly turns her on. Whether its in a public bathroom or the parking lot, she’ll make sure that she gets what she wants.

MATTEA RANDELL (Age 22)

Mattea has an unusual fetish. It’s a craving she’s had ever since she could remember. Her turn-on is cowboys. Whether boots, jackets, hats, or handkerchiefs, she’s in the mood!

CHEYENNE BOXER (Age 34)

Obsessed hopelessly with actor Ethan Hawke, Cheyenne has problems with anonymously meeting guys, and girls, over the Internet and visiting them for sex. She’s been brutally raped many times, but she has the urge to do it over and over again.

BRITTANY BURTON (Age 24)

She’s Gothic, she’s suicidal, she’s depressed. But above all things, she’s horny. She loves erotic sexual activities including cocaine snorting and candle waxing (don’t ask). But Brittany doesn’t like it with guys, oh no. She loves it with women. OLD women from Bingo halls!

LACEY and LINDSAY BLEDSOE (Ages 21)

Sexy British twins Lacey and Lindsay Bledsoe love guys between 12 and 17 and always have to do threesomes with one another. When no third partner, they can’t help but finish the job themselves - around candlelight … with handcuffs.

MEGAN WOOD (Age 26)

The bug-eyed Southern Miss Fried Chicken Festival Queen loves to have sex with any guy that comments on her looks or how ditzy and blonde she is. The colors orange and black turn her on the most and she absolutely DESPISES lesbians!

TABITHA ARNOLDS (Age 28)

She’s a hypochondriac and her drug addiction is food. But has the urge to have sex up to five times a day! She has been accused of raping over 21 innocent men in seven different states. She loves dog collars strapped around her neck, and a banana to boot.

DANIELLE MOORE (Age 59)

She’s almost sixty years old, but she’s not through with the Big O’s just yet! No, she has a record of forty-seven past husbands, thirty-nine she was only married to for no longer than a week! All the others didn’t last a month! She likes nerdy men with glasses and hot flat-chested women! Her turn-on: hairy legs.

DR. MAY HARP (Age 51)

She’s going top change nine “skanks” into nine “ladies” in nine weeks of teaching her sex therapy. Oh yeah, she hates sex.

What the press would say:

Alexander Payne is a masterful director when it comes to comedy, proving this time, just like ‘Election’ and ‘Sideways’, with ‘NINE LADIES AND MS. HARP’. Annette Bening portrays the mysterious Ms. Harp with bravery because Ms. Harp is not explained quite like the nine ladies in the story. Instead, she seems to be very private and very witty with her hurtful words. “How do we know if you’re not addicted to sex too? How do we know you don’t have a fetish for women talking about their sex lives?” asks Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character Jennifer Freeman. Ms. Harp looks at Jennifer with fiery eyes and states, “If I was a dirty little hooker like you, maybe I’d look something like you. But I don’t look like Jennifer Freeman, no, I look like May Harp!” Under Jennifer’s breath she mutters, “Cunt.” Ms. Harp mumbles write back, “A tight one in that!”

Lots of dirty dialogue dwells in Payne’s screenplay, but it never becomes offensive. It stays in a straight line and becomes quite realistic although the characters seem quite over-the-top. Another great asset of Payne’s comedy is the fact that Payne was capable of gathering nine amazingly talented actresses for the roles of the nine ladies. Gyllenhaal plays Jennifer with real comic energy. Chloe Sevigny portrays Mattea with a flair for creating a lovable character. Jennifer Tilly stars as Cheyenne Boxer and manages to keep from stretching credibility to the limit. Shannyn Sossaman portrays the quiet, straight-faced Brittany Burton with weirdness that she makes you believe that she is a real Gothic woman. The amazing British actresses Emily Blunt and Keira Knightley portray the British twins with such amazing dark comedy that you fall for their quite dislikable roles. Anna Faris’ ditzy ‘Scary Movie’ antics help her ludicrous and stupid blonde babe Megan come out with charming raunchiness. Brittany Murphy eats tons of food and eats away your heart with her portrayal of Tabitha Arnolds. And the ninth lady is Danielle Moore, played by Swoosie Kurtz, is portrayed as such an experience “sex-pro” that you’d think actress Kurtz was indeed in forty-seven different marriages! Her screen presence is nothing short of humorous!

Payne adds lairs into the film as he constructs the beautiful lives of the nine troubled women. They may have witty humor, sassy attitudes, and sexy looks – but that can’t stop their characters from being so complex, realistic, and heartbreaking. We learn things about the women, through flashbacks, during the meetings with Ms. Harp, and through the women’s touching reach out for one another as they, and Ms. Harp, form a strong friendship in a bond that builds up over their nine weeks in therapy, discussing the past, going home and letting us know the present, and leaving us at the film’s strikingly emotional finale, where the viewer is left wondering about their future, whether they did become “ladies” or stayed being, as the hard-going Ms. Harp called them, “skanks”. “This is a great movie!” – Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

For Your Consideration:

Best Picture
Best Director
Best Original Screenplay
Best Actress – Annette Bening
Best Supporting Actress – Gyllenhaal, Sevigny, Tilly, Sossaman, Blunt, Knightley, Faris, Murphy, or Kurtz
Best Film Editing

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